
A Day and a Night. 




«^ 




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A DAY AND A NIGHT 



31 ComeUp in Ctoo %tt0 



By AGNES C. RUGGERI 



Copyright, 191 2, by Dick & Fitzgerald 



NEW YORK 

DICK & FITZGERALD 

1 8 ANN' STREET 



A DAY AND A NIGHT. 

CHARACTERS. 

Dorothy Brice. .. .With idealistic notions on the subject of 

hoarding houses 

Mrs. Mary Clancy Her Aunt 

Jennie Ex-waitress of Kidd's, on duty as maid 

Gertie Warbler, singer 

IsELLA Belt, demonstrator 

Theodora Sweet, anti-suffragette 

Constant Kage, suffragette 

Diss A Plinn, teacher 

Juliet McBeth, actress 

Mammy Sue, colored cook Authority on fried chicken 



Applicants for a cozy, 
comfortable home 



Time. — The present. Locality. — New York City. 
Time of Representation. — About one hour. 



T>^P96-CQ7i31 
2 



gCLD 28615 



NO. \ 



A Day and a Night. 



COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 

Dorothy Brice. A pretty, enthusiastic, young girl. Dainty 
dinner dress. SCENE II. A pretty kimona and night cap. 

Aunt Mary Clancy. A sensible, middle aged Irish 
woman. Black silk dress, old-fashioned in cut. Paisley 
shawl, bonnet, eye-glasses which she wears on top of her 
head most of the time, also carries bag. SCENE II. 
Night cap and kimona made more on the order of an old- 
fashioned dressing gown. She is the embodiment of affec- 
tion for her niece and disapproval of her scheme. On no 
account must the part be burlesqued. 

Jennie. A typical, quick lunch waitress, puffed and curled. 
Rather short black dress, high heeled slippers, very small 
white apron, white cap. SCENE II. Pretty kimona and 
night cap. Hair in curl papers. Pert manner with a sugges- 
tion of impudence. 

Theodora Sweet. Beautiful afternoon or dinner dress, 
bouquet of violets, and parasol. More dainty touch to her 
costume than to those of the other boarders. SCENE II. 
Pretty kimona and night cap. 

Juliet McBeth. Dinner dress and evening cape, large 
plumed hat, roses, tall parasol. Quite stagey in the first 
appearance. SCENE II. Pretty kimona and night cap. 

Gertie Warbler. A little on the " country " style. Plain 
tailored costume, white shirtwaist, or if preferred, a dinner 
dress covered with a long coat which is removed after first 
appearance. SCENE II. Pretty kimona and night cap. 

IsELLA Belt. A typical, smartly gowned, well fitted busi- 
ness woman. A trifle aggressive in manner. SCENE II. 
Pretty kimona and night cap. 

DissA Plinn. a decidedly tailor made gown. SCENE II. 
Pretty kimona and night cap. 

Constant Rage. A decidedly tailor made gown, wearing 
under her jacket the " Votes for Women " badge. SCENE 
II. Yellow kimona bearing the word " Votes " in large 
black letters. 

Mammy Sue. Gay wrapper and bandanna, large gingham 
apron. SCENE II. Bright flowered kimona. 



A Day and a Night. 



INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES. 

Large pie on pie plate for Dorothy. 

Dishpan with potatoes, small knife for peeling, carving 
knife and steel, towel with needle and thread, bag containing 
gingham apron, pepsin, and soda mint lozenges for Aunt 
Mary Clancy. 

Plate with small piece of pie, napkins, and large dinner 
bell for Jennie. 

Handkerchiefs and lorgnette for Theodora Sweet. 

Book and candlestick for Juliet McBeth. 

Music roll and neckwear for Gertie Warbler. 

Hand-bag containing atomizer and belts for Isella Belt. 
These belts are ordinary red belts with hooks and eyes for 
fastening quickly, and have a straight piece sewed to the 
center back, which piece should have a pin in it to attach 
easily to the wearer's collar. 

Shirtwaist for Dissa Plinn. 

Five small yellow badges and one large suffrage badge for 
Constant Rage. 

Large tray covered with napkins for Mammy Sue. 

Door bell. Grips and suit cases for all boarders. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audience, 
R. means right-hand; l., the left-hand; c, the center of stage; 
D. c, door in center of rear flat. d. l., door at left of stage. 
D. L. c. door left center of rear flat. d. r. c, door right 
center of rear flat Up toward rear of stage; Down, to- 
ward the footlights. 



A DAY AND A NIGHT. 



SCENE. — Private sitting room of Dorothy Brice. Door 
at c. with portieres. Door l. leading to kitchen. Door 
right center of hach, leading to dining room. Door 
left center of hach. Sofa up l. ; rocker down l. ; Morris 
chair r.; small tahle at hack with drawer containing 
napkins; tahle R. c. with copies of Ladies' Home Journal 
in evidence everywhere. DISCOVEKED Dorothy Brice 
kneeling on chair hack of tahle. In her hands Ladies' 
Home Journal spread out so audience can see cover. 

Dorothy {reading). "Take two good sized dry goods 
boxes and place them end to end. Any girl who is handy 
with a hatchet can fasten them togetlier. Stain the structure 
a dull, artistic green. Buy 4Y-% yards of cheese cloth, 
stencil it after our pattern No. 4756 which may be had for 
ten cents, and gather it on very full. This will make a 
dainty and appropriate dressing table for any girl's room." 
I think I'll make one, I'm just dying to begin on all those 
lovely ideas. {Bell rings. Dorothy goes to portieres to 
meet Aunt who ENTEKS, d. c. ushered in hy Jennie. 
EXIT Jennie d. c.) Oh, Aunty, I'm so glad you've come. 
This is the grandest scheme, but I need you to help me get 
things running. {They sit on sofa) 

Aunt {untying honnet strings, etc.). I got your letter, 
darlin' but what on earth makes you want to run a boarding- 
house ? * 

Dorothy. Oh, Aunty, this isn't to be a regular boarding- 
house, it's to be a home, a real, cozy comfortable home for 
self-supporting women. 

Aunt. And are you going to have no min? 

Dorothy (indignantly). Men! Aunty! Why, men can't 
appreciate dimity curtains like those I'm going to put up, 
and portieres looped up with pink bows, and sweet lingerie 

5 



6 A Day and a Night. 

pincushions that I'm going to make, and those lovely what- 
ye-may-call-ems I was reading about when you came in. 
(Goes to table and gets Ladies^ Home Journal and shows 
Aunt as she talks) Isn't that pretty? That's a dressing- 
table made out of two dry goods boxes. And I've got some 
splendid money saving ideas. Now look at this. A home 
made strainer for the kitchen sink may be obtained by 
punching holes in the lower part of the sides of a tomato 
can by means of an awl and hammer. I haven't got an awl, 
but I'm going to get one. 

Aunt. Sure, darlin', I'll give you a nickel for the 
strainer; don't go smashing your hands up with hammers 
and awls and the like of that. 

Dorothy. And do you see this lovely easy chair ? Doesn't 
it look comfortable? That's made out of a barrel. I've got 
one of them upstairs, made it all myself. 

Aunt. "Well, all I have to say is, don't put it in my 
room. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I don't want any of 
your chiffoniers and barrel easy chairs. If you've got an old 
mahogany bureau that won't fall down when I look at it, 
give it to me. 

Dorothy. Oh, and that reminds me. Aunty, I don't 
know what I'm going to do with you to-night. So many 
answered my advertisement that the house will be full, and 
I haven't had a chance to fix up your room. I'd ask you 
to take my bed, but it isn't a bed, it's a couch that closes 
up in the day-time into a shirtwaist box, and I know you 
don't like that kind of furniture. 

^ Aunt. No, dear, I do not. I will take the Morris chair 
right here into this warm corner and make myself com- 
fortable for the night. 

Dorothy. That ;will be fine. Now what do you think of 
my scheme? 

Aunt. Well, I'm your mother's sister and I'll stand by 
ye, but I think ye're laying in a lot of trouble for yerself, 
givin' a crowd of strangers the run of yer house — sure, they'll 
be walkin' over ye. Was that one of the boarders that let 
me in? 

Dorothy. Oh, no, that was the maid. Isn't she stylish' 
looking? She used to be a waitress in Kidd's restaurant. 
The guests will have their first meal here this evening. I 
wrote each of them to come about five o'clock, because I 
wanted to get your first impression of them, too. (Ring at 



A Bay and a Night. 7 

door hell, R.) There goes the bell now. It makes me real 
nervous. Here comes my first boarder. 

Aunt (opens hag, takes out large gingham apron, puts 
it on and rolls up sleeves'). I'll start right in and get some- 
thing for them to eat. [EXIT l. to kitchen, 

EN TEE Jennie d. c. 

Jennie. The first lady has come. Shall I show her into 
the parlor or here? 

Dorothy. Show her right in here. 

Jennie. Well, here she is. (Ushers in Gertie Warbler 
as if she had heen standing right at the portieres) 

[EXIT D. L. c. 

ENTEE Aunt from kitchen, with dishpan of potatoes. Sits 
in rocker and peels potatoes. 

Gertie Warbler (gushingly, with New England accent). 
Oh, haow do you do ? You know I think your advertisement 
was just too sweet for anything. Cozy and homelike, that's 
just what I'm looking for. You know I'm having my voice 
cultivated. 

Aunt (aside). Lord knows, it needs it. 

Gertie. And I've been living in those studios where 
musical people congregate, and d'ye know, I got awful home- 
sick. 

Dorothy. Oh, indeed! 

Gertie. Yes, I got so tired of putting the gas stove be- 
hind a fancy screen and arranging the bookcase so it would 
hide the coal scuttle. My, you have no idea how I long for 
a plain old-fashioned home with real furniture in it. 
(Dorothy looks crestfallen) I am sure I am going to like 
this amazingly. (Bell rings) It looks so homelike to see 
the cook (Aunt starts at word " cook ") peeling the potatoes 
right in here. (Bell rings) 

Aunt. By the same token, I guess she not only peeled 
potatoes but dug them as well in her day. 

Gertie. You won't mind, will you, if I practice my sing- 
ing lessons about the house? 

Dorothy. Oh, not at all. Make yourself perfectly at 
home. (Goes to d. l. c.) Jennie, show this lady to the red 
room. (Bows her out d. l. c. then calls maid quickly. 



8{ A Day and a Night. 

ENTER Jennie d. l. c) Jennie, take that barrel easy- 
chair out of her room and put in the mahogany rocker quick. 
(Bell rings) 

Jennie. Yes'm. There's a whole mob outside waiting. 
Shall I show them in in a bunch, or do you want each one 
separate ? 

Dorothy. Well, about two at a time. 

[EXIT Jennie d. l. c. 

Aunt. I see ye have a colored cook in the kitchen. 
Couldn^t ye find any decent Irish girl that wanted the place? 

Dorothy. Oh, Aunty, she's a regular Southern Mammy. 
She can fry chicken, and — (Loud voice from hitcTien is 
heard singing " Dancing on the Mississippi Landing " 
accompanied hy shuffling of feet. Business of regular 
Southern plantation chant) 

Aunt. She's the real article, sure enough. [ 

Dorothy. Oh, go quickly Aunt Mary and stop her. 

[EXIT Aunt l. to kitchen. 

ENTER IsELLA Belt and Theodora Sweet, d. c. 

Isella Belt. Are you the lady of the house? Well, Fm 
coming to board here. (Noise in kitchen stops ahruptly. 
RE-ENTER Aunt from kitchen immediately, with satisfied 
expression) I'm a demonstrator by profession. (Opens hag 
with a snap, takes out atomizer, sprinkles perfume in 
Dorothy's face) It's the newest Japanese perfume. Kikusan. 
I also have a very useful little novelty which no lady can 
afford to be without. It is a patent adjustable belt, no hooks 
or eyes, no buttons or buttonholes, no clamps or fasteners 
of any kind. (Puts it around Dorothy's waist, pulling it 
tight with a jerk) Nothing to come undone, nothing to 
get out of order, keeps the waist down (Jerks waist down) 
and the skirt band up (Another jerk) also keeps the collar 
in place. (Another jerk) Now I will pay you my first 
week's board in advance, minus the fifty cents for the belt. 
I won't make you any charge for the perfume. 

ENTER Jennie d. l. c. 

Dorothy (recovering herself). Take this lady to the blue 
room. [EXIT Isella Belt and Jennie d. l. c. 

(During the foregoing the Aunt has been eyeing 



A Day and a Night. 9 

Theodora Sweet, who in turn has been examining every- 
thing in the room with a lorgnette or eye-glasses. As 
IsELLA Belt goes to the door Theodora Sweet is at the 
extreme r.) 

Aunt (going to Dorothy and indicating Isella Belt). 
I'd put her right out. I wouldn't have her in the house for 
a minute. 

Dorothy. Oh, never mind, Aunt Mary. She did sort of 
take my breath away, though. 

Theodora Sweet. Well, my dear, I may as well tell you I 
disapprove very strongly of that young woman. She is a 
product of these degenerate times. I am bitterly opposed to 
the modern woman. I like the old-fashioned girl with lady- 
like accomplishments, singing — (Voice off scene starts scale 
practice, off the "key, and hy the close of the next speech, ends 
in a shriek) 

Aunt. There's one o* them now. 

Theodora. Playing, and so on. I have no sympathy with 
the women who want to vote. I think a woman's place is at 
home. I will be in Albany next week fighting the Suffrage 
Bill. (Practice outside ends in shriek) 

Aunt. Well, if that's one o' the old-fashioned accomplish- 
ments, I'm glad it went out 0' style. 

Theodora. And then there's another thing. I think your 
maid is careless. (Loud singing of " Swing Low, Sweet 
Chariot " and shuffling of feet from kitchen) Mercy ! What's 
that noise? 

(EXIT Aunt determinedly into kitchen; noise ceases im- 
mediately and abruptly.) 

Dorothy. Oh, it's the cook. You know she's a real 
Southern Mammy, and I suppose she's used to singing as 
she works. 

Theodora. Used to it! You shouldn't allow it, and as I 
was saying, your maid is careless. (RE-ENTER Aunt, who 
sits down, hemming towels) That chair is an inch thick 
with dust, (Aside to audience) and it's my private opinion, 
the mistress is not a bit more careful than the maid. 

Dorothy (rather coldly). Don't you want to go to your 
room? (Theodora hows. Dorothy goes d. l. c. and calls 
off) Jenny, show this lady to the yellow room. 

Theodora (in horror). Yellow! No, don't show me to the 
yellow room. That's the detested color of the suffrage 
badge. Now, if you have a pale violet 

Dorothy. Yes, I have. (Calls off) Show this lady to 



xo A Bay and a Night. 

the violet room. (Aunt meantime has "been examining the 
chair that was supposed to have been covered with dust) 

[EXIT Theodora d. l. c. 

Aunt (angrily). Why didn't you tell her ye could run 
your own house to suit yourself? Sure, you've no spunk at 
all. You're not a bit like your mother or your mother's 
people. 

Dorothy. Well, but Aunty, if I talk like that they'll all 
leave. You know they mean well enough — their intentions 
are good. 

Aunt. Yes, and there's a warm place that's paved with 
good intentions. 

ENTER Jennie d. l. c. 

Jennie. Don't you want to see the other ladies now? 
They're gettin' kind o' peevish, havin' to wait so long. 

Dorothy. Yes, show them in. [EXIT Jennie d. l. c. 

Aunt. That cook says she has no orders for dessert. Will 
I fix up a bread pudding for ye? 

Dorothy (proudly). Oh, no, the dessert is ready. I have 
made a pie. 

Aunt (in surprise). Made a pie! Why, I didn't know 
you knew how. 

Dorothy. I didn't know how till this morning, but I 
followed the cook book instructions exactly, and it came out 
a beautiful golden brown on top. 

ENTER D. L. c. DissA Plinn and Constant Rage ushered in 
by Jennie. EXIT Jennie d. l. c. 

Aunt (aside). Well, the Lord help them! I'll bet it's as 
heavy as lead. [EXIT l. into kitchen, 

Dorothy. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting but I have 
been very busy. (Sits at table) 

Constant Rage. I can quite understand you would have 
a good many applications for board here. I think the hall 
will be a delightful place to practice my speeches. 

Dorothy (surprised). Speeches! 

DissA Plinn. Oh no, I noticed as I came in that the hall 
is not properly ventilated. The windows should be opened 
top and bottom, instead of at the bottom only, as at present. 
I suppose you can make any changes I may require in my 
room to improve the ventilation? (Dorothy opens her 



A Bay and a Night. IS 

mouth to speaJc. Sharply) Rise when you answer, please. 
(Dorothy does so, suddenly and mechanically) Oh, I beg 
your pardon, I forgot. (RE-ENTER Aunt l.) I thought 
you were one of my children. 

Aunt (aside). One of her children! It's a sanitarium 
she's looking for. 

DissA Plinn. You know I suffer so dreadfully during 
the day for want of fresh air in that close stuffy schoolroom 
with that new system of ventilation that they're trying to 
install that I simply must have a well aired room in my home. 

Dorothy. Oh, then you're a teacher? 

DissA Plinn. Yes, I am connected with the public schools 
of this city. 

Constant Rage. A teacher! (Shakes hands warmly) 
We are kindred spirits. We stand shoulder to shoulder with 
the teachers in their fight for equal pay. (Turns hach her 
coat, showing yellow rihhon with *' Yotes for Women ") I 
am sure you are one of us. 

DissA Plinn. A suffragette! Any cause that will work 
for justice to the women teachers of New York has my 
hearty support. Why, if you'll believe me, there is a man 
teacher who has the next room to mine, and his class is in an 
uproar all the time. I have to go in five or six times a day 
to quiet them, yet he draws his twenty-eight dollars while I 
get a miserable eighteen. Doesn't it make you wild? 

Constant Rage. Ky dear, it's the same in all walks of 
life. I am glad I met you. (They walk up) We will go 
right into the parlor and talk things over. I have a speech 
which I have to deliver to-morrow, and I want you to look 
over the grammar and composition and see that it is all 
right. 

Dorothy. Don't you want to see your rooms? 
[EXIT Constant Rage and Dissa Plinn d. l. c. loth ignor- 
ing Dorothy. 

ENTER Jennie d. l. c. Dorothy and Aunt looTc at each 
other in amused surprise, 

Dorothy. Isn't there another lady? 
Jennie. Yes'm. 

Dorothy. Well, show her in, and then prepare for dinner. 

[EXIT Jennie d. l. c. 

Aunt. Well, my dear, so far you've got a girl with a voice 

that needs to be filed, and that Anti-suffragette who don't 



13 A Day and a Night. 

like your housekeeping, and when that last couple meet her 
and they get to telling each other what they think of each 
other, well, I feel sorry for them dimity curtains and that 
home-made furniture, for, judging by the looks of them, they 
won't mind throwing it at each other. 

Dorothy. Now, Aunty, it will all adjust itself. They'll 
get along beautifully, you'll see. 

Constant Rage (ojf scene). From the earliest ages man 
has been a tyrant (Cries of hurrah and clapping of hands) 
and even in the so called days of chivalry, men's supposed 
gallantry and courtesy were mere subterfuges to throw dust 
in the eyes of the too easily blinded women of that far off 
age. (Cries of hurrah and applause) 

ENTER Juliet McBeth d. l. c. with Jennie, who hastily 
EXITS D. L. c. in the direction of the speech, 

Juliet McBeth. I am sorry to be late, but I was detained. 
What's going on here? 

Voice off stage. But we are casting off the shackles of 
our bondage, and rising. Phoenix like, from the ashes of a 
dead tradition. 

Dorothy. There's a lady here who makes speeches in 
favor of the suffrage cause. You don't mind, do you ? 

Juliet. Oh, such matters do not concern me. I should 
like to board here (Applause dies down) that is if 

Voice off stage. It is the duty of every woman to stand 
by the colors. Let the one incentive of all your thoughts and 
actions from this time forward be " Votes for Women.'' 
(Cries of "Bravo" "Hurrah'' and clapping of hands) 

Juliet. As I was saying, I should like to live here, if you 
have no old-fashioned prejudice against my profession. 

Dorothy. What is your profession? 

Juliet. I am an actress. 

Aunt (aside). That's the last straw. 

Juliet. At present, owing to the jealousy and narrow 
mindedness of theatrical managers, I have a mere thinking 
part in " Manila " the new musical comedy. Have you seen 
it? 

Dorothy. Oh, yes, I like it very much. 

Juliet. Well, I am the third girl from the left in the 
second row in the Nile green satin hobble. But I aim higher 
than that. It is my ambition to play the queens of tragedy. 



A Day and a Night. 13 

Lady MacBeth, Lucretia Borg-ia, Juliet — now I don't think 

Julia Marlowe gives the right impersonations at all — if I 

Dorothy (interrupting). I am sure I shall enjoy listening 
to your renditions, but don't you want to go to your room 
now? It's so near dinner time. 

ENTER Jennie d. l. c. 

Dorothy. Jennie, show this lady to the green room. 

[EXIT Jennie and Juliet d. r. c, and Dorothy d. c. 

Aunt (aside). I don't like to hurt her feelings, but I 
looked at that pie and it's enough to kill a strong man. 
It weighs a ton. I'll just get out that (Opens hag) pepsin 
and some soda mint lozenges, and have the doctor's telephone 
number handy in case he's wanted in the night. 

ENTER D. R. c. Theodora Sweet, with two or three 
handkerchiefs in hand. 

Theodora (crosses to d. l. for Icitchen). I am just going 
into the kitchen to wash out a few handkerchiefs. 

[EXIT L, into Utchen. 
Aunt (aside). Oh, ye are, are ye? 

ENTER d. l. c. Dissa Plinn with shirtwaist in hand. 
Same husiness as Theodora. 

Dissa Plinn. I'm just going into the kitchen to press my 
shirtwaist. [EXIT l. into kitchen. 

Aunt. That's right, Miss. The whole lot of ye can go 
into the kitchen if ye like. Make yourselves at home. 
(Voice from kitchen, cook singing "Dancing on de Missis- 
sippi Landing.'') 

ENTER d. l. c. Gertie Warbler, same husiness as preceding. 

Gertie. I'm just going into the kitchen to freshen up 
some neckwear. I think you always know a lady by the way 
she keeps her neck. [EXIT l. into kitchen. 

Aunt. True for ye. Sometimes ye can tell her by her 
cheek. 

ENTER d. r. c. Juliet McBeth carrying hook. 

Juliet. I'm just going 



14 A Day and a Night. 

Aunt. Into the kitchen, ma'am. Go right ahead. The 
kitchen's only six foot by ten, but it'll accommodate ye all 
easily. 

Juliet. The kitchen, no — I can't get the proper atmos- 
phere in the kitchen. I want to study the balcony scene. 
May I study in here? 

Aunt. Yes, ma'am. Ye may do anything ye like in here. 
(Juliet sits r. quietly studying, gesticulating, etc.) 

ENTEE D. R. c. IsELLA Belt. 

IsELLA Belt. I'm just going into the kitchen to sell these 
belts. By the way, why don't you 

Aunt (helligerently). No, ma'am. I won't wear them 
and ye needn't think ye can sell me one either. 

IsELLA Belt (laughingly). Oh, all right. (Starts for 
Icitchen, meets Constant Eage who ENTEES d. l. c.) 

Constant Eage (abruptly). Are you interested in the 
cause ? 

Isella Belt. Surely, what cause? 

Constant Eage. Why, woman suffrage. 

Isella Belt. Why, of course, I believe in it. It's great. 
You ought to have one of these belts; it has no hooks or 
eyes, no buttons or buttonholes, no clamx)s or fasteners of any 
kind, (Same business as at first) nothing to come undone, 
nothing to get- out of order, keeps the waist down and the 
skirt band up, also keeps the collar in place. Fifty cents, 
please. 

Constant Eage (icily sweet). Just the price of the 
suffrage badge. (Pins it on Isella Belt's' breast.) 

[EXIT triumphantly into Icitchen l. 

Isella Belt (to audience). Well, what do you think of 
that? [EXIT into Icitchen. 

ENTEE Mammy Sue from Icitchen, l. and Dorothy from 

D. c. 

Mammy Sue. Look hyar, honey, I cain't do mah work no- 
how wif all dem ladies in de kitchen. One o' dem's washing 
handkerchiefs, puttin' 'em up on de winder panes to dry, 
shetting out all de light; anudder one of dem's got de flat 
irons all ovah mah cook stove. (Voice breaks out in hitchen, 
off the hey and higher than the voice will stand, " Oh let me 
sing, let me sing, let me sing, a song divine.'' Mammy Sue 



A Bay and a Night. xs 

indignantly) Dar! Dar's anudder one a settm' in de rocker 
aputtin' rooshing in her collars, but ef I sing a note while 
Ah'm doing my work, dat lady (Indicating Aunt, who is 
perfectly unmoved) makes me shet up. (ENTER from 
kitchen and pass across stage, going out d. r. c, Theodora 
Sweet, Dissa Plinn, Gertie Warbler, Constant Rage, each 
carrying the handkerchiefs, etc. very much in evidence. 
Each wears the helt sold hy Isella Belt who follows last, 
with a satisfied smile) Dar dey goes ! Dat whole bunch was 
in de kitchen whilst Ah^m a trying to get dinner. 

Dorothy. "Well, Mammy Sue, you may sing if you want 
to, but you must sing very low, and you must not object if 
the young ladies come into the kitchen. You know if you act 
nicely toward them, they'll make you little presents from time 
to time. (Mammy Sue smiles) 

Mammy Sue. Das right, chile, so dey will, lessen dey's 
stingy. Lord bless mah soul 

Juliet (starting up suddenly). O, swear not by the 
moon 

Mammy Sue. Lord, chile, I ain't swearing. Ah only said 
Lord bless mah soul. 

ENTER Jennie d. r. c, walhs ahout the room ^ collecting 
Ladies' Home Journals, and EXITS L. into kitchen. 

Dorothy Well now. Mammy Sue, finish up dinner. 

Juliet. ^' The inconstant moon, that monthly changes in 
her circled orb." 

Mammy Sue. Dat wuz no swearin'. What's de matter 
wiv her, anyway? [EXIT muttering, l. into kitchen, 

ENTER Constant Rage, Dissa Plinn, Gertie Warbler and 
Isella Belt, d. r. c, all wearing suffragist hadges. 

All. Isn't dinner ready yet? 
Dorothy. Yes. 

ENTER Jennie l. from kitchen with large T)ell which she 
rings. She also wears the suffrage badge. All rush 
pell-mell through d. r. c. to dining room, except Aunt, 
Juliet McBeth who remains ahsorhed in hook, and 
Dorothy, who goes leisurely last. ENTER Theodora 
Sweet d. l. c. in a great hurry and crosses to d. r. c. to 



l6 A Day and a Night. 

dining room. EXIT Aunt, l. into hitchen. Throughout 
the next scene the clatter of dishes is heard off R. 

Juliet. " Wilt thou be gone ? 

It is not yet near day. 

It was the nightingale and not the lark 

That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear — '* 

ENTER Jennie d. r. 

Jennie (goes to center table at hack, takes out napkins and 

calls to kitchen). Double up on the vegetable soup, one on 

the French fried, two orders chicken 

Juliet. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale 

Jennie. Nightingale! I wonder what you expect for 

eight dollars a week. You're lucky if you get plain chicken. 

(To kitchen) Two sides Boston beans, draw one in the 

dark 

ENTER Dorothy hurriedly d. r. c. with napkin, and Aunt, 
also hurriedly from kitchen L. with carving knife. 

Dorothy and Aunt. Don't talk like that about the food. 

Dorothy. Call things by their proper names. Say ^* one 
cup of coffee " please, not " draw one in the dark." 

Jennie (haughtily). Oh, very well, very well. 

Dorothy. I'm going to get out that pie. (EXIT l. into 
kitchen. Jennie meets Mammy Sue at l. who hands her 
large tray covered with napkins. Mammy Sue also wears 
yellow suffrage badge. Dorothy passes proudly through with 
the pie and EXIT d. r. c.) 

Mammy Sue. Look hyar, chile, ef dars any o' dat pie left, 
save me a piece. 

Jennie. All right. [EXIT d. r. c. into dining-room. 

Aunt (to Juliet). Aren't you going to have your dinner? 

Juliet. No, thank you, I do not feel like eating just now. 
You might send up a cup of very weak tea and a piece of 
pie, that's all I want. 

[EXIT D. c, very much absorbed in hook. 

Aunt. Well, I thought the like of her wouldn't touch 
anything but quail on toast. 

[EXIT D. R. c. into dining-room. 

Mammy Sue. Ah lak dis yer badge, jes' suits mah com- 
plexion. 



A Day and a Night. 17 

ENTEK Jennie d. r. c, with piece of pie. 

Jennie. Draw three — I mean three cups of coffee, please. 
Here's your pie, you better take it while you can get it, it's 
going fast. [EXIT d. r. c. into dining-room. 

Mammy Sue (eating pie). Golly, dat's mighty good pie. 
(EXIT L. shuffling and singing " One more rihher, and dat 
one rihher is Jordan.'^ 

CUETAIN. 



SCENE. — The same. Midnight of the same day. DIS- 
COVERED Aunt asleep in chair l. Screen around 
chair which hides her from the view of anyone 
entering the stage, hut still leaves her in full view of the 
audience. A high hacked rocTcer stands R. arranged in 
the same position and so as to hide any occupant of it 
from the view of everyhody hut the audience. 

ENTER L. Mammy Sue looking very mournful and evidently 
suffering from the effects of the pie. 

Mammy Sue (down c. to chair r.). Oh, I'se got de misery, 
don't know whut's de matter wiv me. I caint go to sleep, 
an' I caint rest standin' up, an' I caint rest settin' down. 
Dat room o' mine is freezin' cold. I's jes goin' to camp out 
hyar fer de night. {Sits in high hacked rocker, groans a few 
times, etc. ENTER d. c. Juliet McBeth ivith candlestick. 
She is walking in her sleep. She comes slowly down to tahle, 
places candlestick on it, and sighs deeply. Mammy Sue 
starting up hut not looking round) Huh! (Juliet sighs 
again) Mah Lord! Sperrits! De house is haunted! 
(Juliet groans. Mammy Sue slips from chair to floor. 
Business of praying and abject terror) Good Lord, keep de 
bad sperrits offen me. Glory Allelujah! {Keep up the husi- 
ness all through this) 

Juliet. "Yet here's a spot. Will all great Neptune's 
ocean wash this blood from my hand. Ugh! It still smells 
of the blood. Oh — h-h, all the perfumes of Arabia will not 
sweeten this little hand." {Tragically, and moving nearer the 
screen) Who would have thought the old man would have 
had so much blood in him. 

Aunt {waking suddenly, hut thoroughly). What's that? 



l8 A Day and a Night. 

Mammy Sue. Don't let dem lay deir hands on me, O 
Lord! 

Juliet (tense whisper, hut very distinctly). " There's been 
murder done." (Mammy Sue grovels on floor) 

Aunt. Murder ! Save us and bless us ! 

Juliet (change of tone) . " You mar all with this starting. 
You have broken up the good meeting with most admired 
disorder. What, are you afraid ? " 

Aunt. Two of them! 

Juliet. " Then give me the daggers ! " 

Aunt (screams, leaps to chair and calls). Help, Murder, 
Police, rouse the neighborhood! Don't let her go! Oh, ho, 
you villain, you. (Jumps down and seizes Juliet, who wahes 
with a start; "business of "bewilderment and amazement) 

Juliet (as Aunt seizes her). Oh, what's the matter, what's 
the matter? 

Aunt. Oh, ye carry it off well, but it won't do you much 
good. 

ENTER from various doors all hurriedly, in Jcimonas, 
Jennie in curl papers. All talk excitedly. 

DissA Plinn. What's the matter? Who's hurt? 

Theodora. Where's the fire? 

IsELLA Belt. What is it ? 

Dorothy. Why, Aunt Mary, what's the trouble ? 

Aunt. Get a policeman, that's the trouble. This rascal 
just murdered some one. 

All (scream). Murder! 

Juliet (in horror). Oh, no! 

Aunt. Yes, and there was another one o' thim. I heard 
her talking to him. (All shiver and cluster in a circle) 

All. Where's the other one? (Mammy Sue peers from 
behind chair) 

Aunt. Ahaha, there she is. Catch hold of her. (Con- 
stant Kage promptly pounces on the thoroughly frightened 
Mammy Sue) 

Mammy Sue (on her knees, to Dorothy). Lor', Miss, I 
ain't done nothin', don't put me in de calaboose, don't put me 
in de calaboose. 

Juliet. Oh, there's a mistake, there's a mistake. 

Dorothy. Why, Aunt Mary, everybody's here, nobody's 
killed or even hurt. 



A Bay and a Night. 19 

'Aunt. That makes no difference. I heard her say meself 
" There's been murder done," says she, and then she says 
^^ Are you afraid ? " she says to the other one, and then she 
says " Give me the daggers." (Balance of scene must he 
played fast) 

Juliet (heaves a relieved sigh, and hegins to laugh). 
Why 

DissA Plinn (interrupting). Well, all this excitement 
about nothing! Don't you recognize those words? She was 
just play-acting Lady Macbeth. 

Juliet. Oh, I must have been walking in my sleep. 

All. Well, the idea ! What do you think of that ? Walk- 
ing in her sleep ! 

IsELLA Belt. Well, I don't blame her one bit. That pie 
was enough to make anybody dream of murder and sudden 
death. 

Theodora. All I've got to say is that a house that harbors 
a suffragette and a sleep-walker is no place for me. 

Gertie. Nor me. Why, the strain of this night's excite- 
ment on my vocal chords is sure to be fatal. 

Jennie. Me too. I wouldn't work in any such spooky 
place as this for anything. 

Constant. Look here, madam, you advertise this as a cozy, 
comfortable home, but it seems you take in all sorts of people. 
I demand my money back. 

DissA Plinn. And so do I. I won't stay in a house where 
my night's rest is disturbed in this outrageous fashion. 
(They stand around Dorothy, indignant and threatening) 

Aunt (decidedly and emphatically). Put them all out, 
bag and baggage. Your mother's daughter doesn't have to 
take that kind of talk from anybody, not while I have a roof 
over my head and next nwjnth's rent in my pocketbook. 
(She holds out her arms to Dorothy, who starts toward 
them) 

QUICK CURTAIN. 



"JUST FOR FUN'' 

An Up.tO'Date Society Comedy in Three Acts, by ELEANOR MAUD CRANi 

PRICE, 15 CENTS 

TusT FOR Fun is just the thing for amateur companies with ambitions above the 
levelof the one-act comedy. It is a clever representation of a phase of society life in 
New York. The dialogue is bright, the incidents are funny, and every character is 
prominent. The play^ is so easily staged that it can be done in a parlor without 
scenery. Its success in New York last winter was so pronounced that it is cheerfully 
recommended to all clubs in other parts of the country. 

DRAMATIS PERSONA 
Mrs. Fitzgerald Mandevillk de Smvthe . .a Would-Be Society Leader 

Miss Edith Morton, her niece a Western Heiress 

Miss Mabel West .*.*.. ..a Friend of Miss Morton's 

iANE McCarthey an Irish Maid-Serrant 
ord Chelsea an English Nobleman 

Jack Earl, Am yrxV«</ a Happy-Go-Lucky Fellovr 

Time.— The Present. Place.— New York City. 
Time of Representation. — Two Hours. 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I.— In the course of which the audience learns how, for reasons of her own. 
Miss Morton persuades her friend Miss West to change places with her, and Lord 
Chelsea and Mr. Earl decide to borrow each other's names and positions for a month. 

Act II. — During which Miss West plays eavesdropper, Mr. Earl learns a great 
secret, and Jane makes a revelation to Mrs. de Smythe. 

Act III.— In which the complications are straightened out to the satisfaction of 
all concerned, including the audience. 

SNOBSON^S STAG PARTY 

A Farce in One Act, for \2 Male Characters, by U C TEES 

PRICE. 15 CENTS 
DRAMATIS PERSONA 
Nicholas Snobson , . r . . .the Old Crank Who Gives the Party 
Clarence Mountjoy .••••. his Gay and Festive Nephew 

Ebenbezer Snowball •*•••.* a Mischievous "Coon" 

Julius Dinkelspiel .•••••. a Guest from the Fatherland 

Fazio Spaghetti a Dago Without the Monkey 

Henry Hawkins ...•*... a Blarsted Henglishman 
Mrs. Hezekiah Chickenstealer, an unexpected guest from 

Thompson Street Female Impersonator 

Mrs. Michael Moriarty, /rotn Shantytown^ likewise unex' 

pected ...•••.... Female Impersonator 

Jim Scrapper a Tough Gent from the Fourth District 

Alfonso Heavyweight .••... ..a Crushed Tragedian 

Bill Ballotbox .... a Ward Politician 

Time.— The Present. Place.— New York. 
The piece will run about one hour, if played " straight." With specialties (which 
are provided for) it can be lengthened according to talent. 

THE KEY TO THE FUN 

Nicholas Snobson, a rich and eccentric woman hater, lives in seclusion with his 
Kvely nephew and a mischievous darky servant. Snobson is induced to give a 
party — a stag party, because he won't have a woman on the premises. Being without 
friends, he selects the guests at random from the city directory and dispatches his 
invitations. Soon the company, of all colors and every race, begin to arrive, including 
two ladies — white and black — who get in by mistake, and the " party " begins. After 
a succession of comical incidents and specialties Bill Ballotbox, the ward leader, 
arrives with a brass band and a political delegation, and the fun culminates in 9 
regular war dance. 




MA] 
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WU] 
FRO 
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BACI 

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